This summer, my dad and I went on a longish hike through the redwoods in Big Basin. It was great and my dad even used his own Instagram account to document the day. Towards the end of the 10 mile loop, I stopped walking for a second, looked back and saw my dad slowing down. For the first time in my life, I was checking in with my dad on a hike to see how he was doing. Did he want some of my water? Maybe some m&m’s? A lot of hiking as a kid was my dad gently coaxing me just around the next corner, and then the next turn, which would totally be the last turn. We made it back to the trailhead, each got root beer float, and then my dad drove us home.
This December, my parents and our family friends, the Duhs, came to Peru to visit me over the winter (Peruvian summer) holidays. My brother was going to his friend’s wedding and couldn’t come. We all had a great time. Because they were visiting my sort-of home turf and I had the best Spanish of the group, I was put in charge of the bulk of the planning. I’m the youngest of the Duh and Stoller kids, and when we have traveled together in the past, I wasn’t in this role at all. I usually was just waiting around for someone to play Yahtzee with me.
While traveling, I found myself talking to taxi drivers, taking everyone’s passports and talking with the people behind the counter at the airport, and speaking with people at the front desk at hotels. I had a pretty good time and it was a fun change of pace.
The Wall Street journal published a fun article about this exact experience of child-parent reversal and the joy that can come from this switch. The parents feel more relaxed sitting in the backseat, it’s a fun opportunity for the kids to take the wheel, and the parents will also offer some backseat advice, because how could they not.
When I was little, before going on a trip, my dad would give me and my brother a pep talk, reminding us that there may be times where mom and dad get a little stressed and it might not be a good time to ask mom and dad questions. Even though we were taught that questions were always good, my dad reminded us that we could always talk about questions later. In other words, my dad wanted us to be prepared to suck it up, and be troopers. Then, my dad would remind us that it is important to make sure that the stove is off and the windows are closed before leaving. Then he would remind us that we were going to have so much fun. Break! Go team! Then my mom would make sure we had enough snacks for the car or the plane.
I haven’t had to give my parents a travel pep talk yet, but wonder what I would say when the time comes.